- Lunch
- OOO - See you Tuesday!
- OOO
- OOO
- I lost my job at NASA. I was hoping this would launch a successful career.
- What do you call it when you mix a rhetorical question with a joke?
- OOO - Back Monday
- Why don't bears wear shoes? Because they have bear feet.
- vacation
- OOO
- How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they use gaslighting.
- OOO
- I used to be in a band called "Missing Cat". You've probably seen one of our posters.
- My husband told me I have two bad habits: I don't listen and something else.
- I can!
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
- What kind of teee fits in the palm of your hand? A palm tree.
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
- Why was the pinecone so popular? Because it always had a sharp sense of humor!
- What do you call a pinecone that’s feeling down? A little sappy!
- What do you get when you cross a pig with a pinecone? Porkypine.
- Why did the pinecone break up with the pine tree? It said, “I need some space to branch out.”
- For Gary - What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.
- What did the dog say to the two trees? Bark bark.
- How do you teach a kid to climb stairs? There is a step by step guide.
- I broke my finger at work today, on the other hand I’m completely fine.
- which flower is most fierce? Dandelion
- Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir? He was a little horse.
- Why are oranges the smartest fruit? Because they are made to concentrate.
- My dog just got arrested. He had unpaid barking tickets.
- OOO - back on 04/22!!!
- Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
- What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad.
- I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was udder destruction.
- My smart friend told me onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face!
- How excited was the gardener about spring? So excited he wet his plants.
- My fiance wanted to get married at the library but it was all booked up
- My fiance wanted to get married on top of the library but it was all booked up
- My fiance wanted to get married on top of the library but it was all booked
- A cop caught 2 kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged 1 and let the other 1 off.
- What kind of needlework is always angry? Cross stitch
- I asked my friend Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.
- A boy asked his Dad “Can you explain what a solar eclipse is?” The Dad replied “No Son”.
- How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
- Why didn't the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees.
- Alivia decided to try her hand at crime. Her opening line during a bank heist -give me alivia money!
- Alivia decided to try her hand at crime. Her opening line during a bank heist - give me alivia money
- Dog louis sat on the couch. Narumi told him to scoot over but Louis shook his head and said Na Rumi
- Dog louis sat on the couch. Narumi told him to scoot over but Louis shook his head and said Na Rumi
- What did the awkward vampire say to Yvonne when he walked in on her crying? …Yvonne-a be alone?
- What did the awkward vampire say to Yvonne when he found her crying? …Yvonne-a be alone?
- What did the awkward vampire say to a destitute Yvonne? …Yvonne-a be alone?
- I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
- “Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”
- A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter chips. The barman replies “sorry mate we only do plain”
- What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler? A poutine.
- How do we find out who is the worst Dad joke guy in Canada? Call Gary.
- Stacy replaced her old, uncomfortable chair with the newest model so she could stacy-ted longer
- I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher
- Why doesn't the Chimney-Sweep call out sick from work? Because he's used to working with a flue.
- I can't take my dog to the pond since the ducks attack him. That's what I get with a pure bread dog.
- Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?"
- I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.
- I once lost a banana at court but then I appealed.
- Dr app
- How do locomotives know where they're going? Lots of training
- Don't tell secrets in corn fields. Too many ears around.
- How do robots eat guacamole? With computer chips.
- The man who invented throat lozenges died last week. There was no coffin at the funeral
- Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
- What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn? A metro-gnome
- A cannibal is someone who is fed up with people.
- Out
- Out
- Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.
- What do bees do after they are married? They go on a honeymoon.
- What do you call a girl between two posts? Annette.
- Just read a few facts about frogs. They were ribbiting.
- What do you call an old snowman? Water.
- I tried to write a chemistry joke, but could never get a reaction.
- What do you call flowers who are BFFs? Buds.
- How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? 1 or 2? 1... or 2?
- My son is studying to be a surgeon, I just hope he makes the cut.
- To be Frank, I’d have to change my name.
- How many bakers does it take to bake a pi? 3.14
- There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
- What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court? Anette
- I wanted to be a tailor but I didn’t suit the job
- What do you call a turtle chef? A slow cooker.
- Which month of the year is the shortest? May. It only has three letters.
- I fell face first into a bush - total face plant
- Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
- Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming
- Last night me and my husband watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
- A weasel walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What to drink?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
- Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I'm still working on it.
- OOO
- C, Eb and G walk into a bar.......The Bartender says "Sorry no minors!"
- What do you call a magician that looses his magic? Ian!
- A bicycle can’t stand on its own because its two tired
- I tried to take a photo of a wheat field. It turned out grainy.
- Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
- Why couldn’t the little flower ride a bike? It didn’t have petals.
- How did the X-ray machine feel after a long day at work? Ex-ray-sted!
- How did the hipster burn their tongue? – They drank their coffee before it was cool.
- What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso!
- Why can't you use "Beef stew" as a password? Because it's not stroganoff.
- I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
- Why couldn’t the computer pay its bill? It ran out of cache
- How does the sun cut its hair? Eclipse it.
- What kind of shoes do frogs love? Open-toad!
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
- OOO - back on 01/02!
- Happy Holidays - OOO
- Vacationing Out December 18th - January 2nd
- Vacationing Out December 28th - January 2nd
- What's a snowflake's favorite exercise? "Ice"-ometrics!
- Why did the fungus downsize? There was too mush-room.
- What's spicy but cold in the winter? Chilly peppers.
- What's a snowman's favorite food? A chili brrrrrger.
- Why was the gift late for the party? It was all wrapped up...
- What's a dog's favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
- Why couldn’t the police catch the wool? Because it was on the lamb.
- What kind of blanket does a gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookiesheets.
- OOO - Back on Oct 30th!
- What do you get when you smash a pumkin? Squash.
- Orion’s Belt is a waist of space.
- OOO - Have a great weekend.
- The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write this down because I'll remember it."
- Dentist
- The only thing flat-earthers fear... is sphere itself
- Out this morning for an appointment
- See you Tuesday. Have a great weekend.
- brb
- Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
- The teacher explained how electricity is measured. I was like WATT?
- WordCamp
- How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.
- :airplane: BRB
- Travel day. Will check messages later.
- Traveling - I have my phone and will be checking slack + emails!
- Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos!
- Teaching kids about fungus is one way to mold young minds.
- Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!
- My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn’t letter. They said only mails work here.
- What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee!
- What to restaurant do rabbits go to for breakfast? IHOP.
- What to restaurant do rabbits go to for breakfast? IHOP.
- Not all math problems add up. Just sum…
- Whats the diff between a badly dressed man on a bike and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
- What do you call an owl who’s been caught in the act? A spotted owl.
- What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaains!
- The wedding was very emotional. Even the cake was in tiers.
- My tennis opponent wasn’t happy with my serve. She kept returning it…
- My sister bet I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her when I drove pasta.
- My sister bet I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her when I drove pasta.
- She had a photographic memory but never developed it
- I've been trying to find out who has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
- Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
- Why do people love Switzerland? The flag is a big plus. Canada’s, I could take or leaf.
- How do snails fight? They slug it out!
- Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- My laptop keeps singing “Hello”. It’s a Dell
- What do you call two scientific authors having an argument? Science Friction.
- Geology rocks but Geography is where it’s at!
- Why was Dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.
- Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
- When Is The Best Time To Run A Marathon? During Lent. That’s When You Fast.
- What drink do you serve someone who talks a lot? Chai Tea
- What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback.
- No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.
- What currency do astronauts use in space? Starbucks!
- What is an astronauts favorite shirt? Apollo
- I was going to tell you about people who live in the apartment upstairs. But that’s another story.
- I stood in my garden early yesterday morning wondering where the sun had gone Then it dawned on me.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
- Insect puns really bug me
- What award do astronauts get for boarding the capsule first? The starship -enter-prize.
- What award do astronauts get for board the capsule first? The starship -enter-prize.
- I have a chicken proof lawn. It’s impeccable
- At what time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
- OOO back on 07/26
- I wondered why the boomerang was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- You can tell that a clock is hungry if it goes back four seconds.
- My friend told me she doesn’t like Lord of the Rings. She doesn’t know what she’s Tolkien about.
- Told a joke over a teams meeting and no one laughed. It wasn’t remotely funny.
- Spiders and snakes are a vital part of the eek-osystem
- What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hairline.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener!
- Every day I announce that I’m going for a jog, & then I don’t. It’s my longest running joke!
- I’m pining for a good tree pun I wish they were more popular
- I asked the clerk if the Fly Killer spray was good for wasps?” He said “No, it kills them”
- Why Didn't The Hipster Swim In The River? Because It Was Too MainStream
- I looked up opaque in the dictionary the definition wasn’t very clear
- My friend just installed ethernet in her home in Sydney. I can’t wait to visit the LAN down under.
- I put a new freezer next to the refrigerator, now they’re just chilling.
- Why should you never play poker at the zoo? Too many cheetahs.
- What did Yoda say after seeing himself in HD? HDMI!
- I’m the Alpha in our marriage. That make my wife the Beta half
- Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? They’re really making headlines.
- Did you hear that story about the biggest mountain in the world? I couldn’t get over it.
- What are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
- Why can’t you get a job at the ice rink? There’s a hiring freeze.
- I took a test on shoes. Totally laced it!
- How do oranges communicate with one another? They speak in Mandarin.
- What’d the conductor say when she found her missing music? SCORE!
- If there’s a bee in my hand, what’s in my eye? Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!
- What did the prescriptivist owl say? Whom whom.
- I saw James Bond cooking burgers in the park. I guess he had a license to grill.
- I saw James Bond making burgers in the park. I guess he had a license to grill.
- How did the hipster burn their tongue? They drank their coffee before it was cool.
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
- Rhonda left me a message saying the humidity will hit 90% today... She wrote it on a sticky note
- Will glass coffins ever be popular? Remains to be seen...
- What would bears be without bees? Ears!
- I thought that I could do yoga. But, it was a bit of a stretch.
- Working remotely
- The math book looked sad because it had too many problems.
- Our dogs are awesome storytellers, they always paws for dramatic effect.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Q. Why can't you run through a campground? A. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
- My dog won't bring the ball back. She says it's too far-fetched.
- What do you do when you see a spaceman? Park in it, man!
- I quit my grocery store job bc they paid in vegetables instead of cash. The celery was unacceptable.
- What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Damn.
- Why do hurricanes make great pirates? Because they only have one eye!
- Why do hurricanes make great pirates? Because they only have one eye!
- My cloning experiments finally paid off. I'm so excited, I'm beside myself.
- What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill? A lambslide
- How do you make a hot dog stand? Take away its chair.
- How many ears does Spock have? 3. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!
- Why do you never want to invite a tree to your party? Because they never leaf when you want them to.
- What’s the best way to make a tree laugh? Tell it acorn-y joke.
- What do you call a mouse that swears? A cursor
- How come there aren’t any knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings.
- Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army? Laughayette.
- Why did the cookie cry? It was feeling crumby.
- What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It can’t sit down.
- What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It can’t sit down.
- I was told "icy" is the easiest word to spell. Looking at it now, I see why.
- What did one eye say to the other? Just between you and me, something smells.
- Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby? The baby, because she's a little bigger.
- What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear
- My wife asked me today if I had seen the dog bowl. I said no I didn’t know he could.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- What’s green and goes to summer camp?…A brussel scout!
- I saw a documentary on frogs. It was toad-aly ribbiting.
- Did you hear they passed a law banning ice cream? Don’t worry, it was ruled un-cone-stitutional!
- Where does a lizard go when his tail falls off? The retail store.
- What did one tectonic plate say when he bumped into the other? Sorry! My fault.
- Why are pirates so angry after using the restroom? When the 'P' is gone, they are just 'irate'
- I don't know what the word apocalypse means. It's not like it's the end of the world.
- I lost my mood ring and I don't know how to feel about it! Be
- My cat can’t read. But he is totally litter-ate.
- Where does a lizard go when his tail falls off? The retail store.
- I hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to clean the house. Found out she’s a Slovak.
- Always trust a glue salesman - they tend to stick to their word
- I was addicted to soap, but I'm clean now...
- I used to be addicted to soap. But I’m clean now.
- What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
- What did the windmill say to the tornado? Honestly I’m a big fan..
- I met the man who invented the windowsill. He’s a ledge.
- I have a terrible fear of tsunamis - it comes in waves
- Why couldn’t the bike stand up? It was two-tired.
- Stacy blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns. Well, toucan play that game.
- Stacy blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns. Well, toucan play that game.
- My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
- I knew a submarine sailor who was not very talkative. He was a subdued sub dude
- I found a rock which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.
- A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame
- Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He’s a lawn mooer.
- We all know where the big apple is. But does anyone know where the Minneapolis..
- I love giant squid jokes. They’re always kraken me up!
- What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer.
- If I had a wooden eye. I’d have a wooden eye wouldn’t I
- I the joke bot work for Gary and Gary only
- I the joke bot work for Gary and Gary onl
- I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It’s a complex complex complex.
- My friend David just had his ID stolen. We just call him Dav now.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- It’s not easy working on a submarine. You’re under a lot of pressure.
- A friend started a submarine building company. Unfortunately it went under.
- What do you call an alien with three eyes? An aliiien.
- I was going to share a vegetable joke but it’s corny.
- My friend started a submarine building company. Unfortunately, it went under.
- Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over
- What do you win in a space talent contest? A constellation prize...
- Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain? Things ran more fluidly. Happy (late) Fathers Day!
- I gave all my dead batteries away today, free of charge.
- Justice is a dish best served cold. Otherwise, it would be justwater
- I’m very pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I’ve got twelve fridges.
- What were you saying? I lost my terrain of thought.
- What’s a dog’s favorite band? The Beagles!
- I didn’t know traveling in a zeppelin tooks so long. I guess ignorance is blimps.
- What were you saying? I lost my terrain of thought.
- I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
- When you die, what is the last body part to stop working? Your pupils - they dilate
- I hate visiting my dermatologist. She really gets under my skin.
- A girl once asked me what my heart desired: blood, oxygen and neural messages were wrong answers
- Why are Sundays stronger than Wednesdays? Because Wednesday is a week day.
- Why did the internet browser get fat? It accepted all cookies.
- The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought, “this changes everything”.
- Thanks for explaining the word “plethora” to me. It means a lot.
- A Spanish magician was doing a magic trick. He said, “Uno, dos…” and he disappeared without a tres.
- A Spanish magician was doing a magic trick. He said, “Uno, dos…” and he disappeared without a trace.
- Why didn’t the taco chef show up for work today? He had a bad queso the flu.
- I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
- I’m addicted to brake fluid, but it’s OK because I can stop at any time.
- Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom!
- A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.
- When you teach a wolf to meditate he becomes aware wolf
- eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and it gave me 12,749 matches.
- That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you...
- Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.
- Mona Lisa was once accused of murder.... Turns out, she was framed.
- What kind of blanket has the most patience? A weighted blanket
- What kind of blanket has the most patience? A weighted blanked
- Yesterday I swallowed some food coloring. I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
- The word queue is ironic. It's just q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.
- OOO back on 06/08 :speedboat::sunglasses::beach_with_umbrella:!!!
- You can borrow any DVD from Rick Astley except one. He's never gonna give you Up.
- I used to drive a steamroller. Everyone says that I was such a flatterer.
- What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2 detour.
- How much does a dragon weigh? It depends on the scales.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
- Have you tried hiking? It really Alps clear your mind!
- Did you hear the guy making fake $1 coins? They arrested him in his apartmint.
- Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Those were the days…
- I don’t enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit
- I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… it was just collecting dust.
- Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident? To the I.C.U.
- Yesterday I was charged $10,000 dollars for sending my cat into space. It was a cat astro fee.
- I put up an electric fence around my field last weekend. My neighbour is dead against it.
- There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.
- Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits? Speedos!
- What did Barack say when Michelle left him? I don’t want to be Obama self…
- What did the ocean say to the beach? – Nothing, it just waved
- Don’t ever believe an atom, they make everything up
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
- I changed my phone’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
- I think somebody added more dirt to my vegetable garden. The plot thickens!
- Why did the octopus blush? Because the seaweed.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowntain
- Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
- I was confused when my printer started making music Until i realized the paper was... jamming.
- Why did the can crusher quit her job? It was soda-pressing.
- A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
- If you ever get cold, stand in the corner of a room for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
- Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- “My Dog has no nose.” “How does he smell?” “Awful”
- I had a job tying sausages together, but I couldn’t make ends meet.
- What do you say to a Llama that loves picnicking? Alpaca lunch.
- Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
- How do you measure the quality of a pun? With a sighsmograph
- Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
- Doctor: “Miss, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards.” Me: “And?”
- Two frogs were croaking at each other outside my window. It was Toadally ribbeting!
- Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.
- What do you say to a cannibal when he visits the nursing home? Eat your vegetables
- Be kind to dentists. They have fillings too, you know.
- If a kid won’t take a nap, is that “resisting a rest”?
- My dentist and I got into an argument the other day because he didn’t agree with my floss-ophy.
- My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
- What do you call a snail that isn’t moving? An escar-stay.
- Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.
- A farmer had 297 cows, when he rounded them up, he found he had 300
- You think swimming with dolphins is expensive? Try swimming with sharks - cost me an arm and a leg!
- Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
- I dropped my toothpaste, I’m crestfallen.
- Did you know if you took out your brain and laid every neuron out in a line .. . . you would die.
- A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
- I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory. The arguments for it aren’t even well rounded
- I wish I could clean mirrors for a living. It’s just something I can see myself doing.
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- Some people think it's funny when your nose is wet and runny. But it's snot.
- It was so cold yesterday my computer froze. My own fault though, I left too many windows open.
- I'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered.
- If your parachute fails while sky diving, it’s okay...you have the rest of your life to fix it.
- It’s the cold and flu time of year. Or as I like to call it, Vitamin C-son.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was really just a play on words
- I dreamed about drowning in an ocean of orange soda last night. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
- My girlfriend said she is leaving cause I pretend to be a Transformer. I said, “Wait! I can change.”
- I was gonna tell a joke about Sodium, but then I thought, "Na".
- Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, “how do you drive this thing?”
- I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals. I M LIVID.
- What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
- Who do ponies call when they’re possessed by demons? An ex-horse-ist!
- I got this speedboat real cheap. It was on sail.
- Why are horses good at Jeopardy? Because they answer in the form of equestrian.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
- The pony couldn't sing because it was a little horse.
- Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
- I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it.
- Anasthetic puns make me numb, But arithmetic puns make me number
- I gave all my dead batteries away today, free of charge.
- My friend fell into an upholstery machine. He’s fully recovered now.
- A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.
- What do you use to repair a broken bottle of Johnnie Walker? Scotch tape!
- Mom threw a surprise birthday party for my brother. Guess he’s her favorite twin
- Did you hear about the antiques collector who found an old Coca-Cola lamp? She was soda lighted.
- What did Obi-Wan say at the rodeo? Use the horse, Luke.
- Which Jedi had a musical career? A: Bon Jovi-Wan Kenobi.
- Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? To get to the Dark Side.
- Which program do Jedi use to open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi.
- What do you call an invisible droid? C-through-PO